Sparrows and Lillies: When Heaven Meets Us Where We Are

By: Brooke Keith

Chronic health issues…

I’ll take things I don’t care to talk about for $1,000, Alex.

This week has brought its own set of reminders for me that I still have to be a good “patient.” That one has always been hard for me. When I was diagnosed with MS 14 years ago, I remember hating that sudden feeling of being a patient. Ew. It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t comfortable. And I was constantly having to do things that I didn’t want to do… to ensure I was up and at ‘em.

The healthier I got the more I ran from the idea of ever being a patient again if I could help it.

Lifting heavy? Check.

Going on runs? Check.

Learning everything I possibly could in a theology or literary class? Check.

Chasing Jesus as fast as my legs could carry me? Check.

Packing my bag for that ministry plane that is taking off in 5? Check.

And those things make it feel like I’m not a “patient.” Those things make me feel normal… to other people? They probably make me sound like I don’t know how to be still. And they might be right.

I’m a bit of a kid and a grownup at the same time when it comes to medical things. I’m both responsible… and busy! My specialist has learned that I’m not the best patient over the span of many years, but I am at least honest about my poor patient skills. “Gonna be honest with you, buddy. I won’t be doing that this month.”

My favorite is when I don’t even have to say it anymore. “I have an order for XYZ but since you probably won’t be going…” or “Hey, chaplain. You don’t want to need a chaplain.” Touche.

Maybe you can relate.

Maybe your body does its own little weird things. Or BIG weird things. Or maybe it’s something else overwhelming entirely but you can get the metaphor.

Maybe you’d like nothing more than to not be a “patient.” Or “here again.” Etc. Etc.

Trust me, I’ve been at this threshold time and time again.

And one thing I learn here every time is that if I trust the Lord… the rest days, the days off work, the days I’m spending 8 hours to get somewhere and another 8 hours to take a treatment that might make me feel like utter warmed over rhino poop, the days I am reminded I make clergy pay to boot. (That is kind of like having stocks and bonds in heaven if you didn’t catch the reference. Haha.)

And in all of this, I know the Lord invites me especially in these times to TRUST Him. To trust my faith is being stretched. That my dependence on Him is being strengthened. That my testimony is loading again. And that that’s ok. As it was before, it will be ok again.

Jesus is not a stranger to the fear or exhaustion that comes with this human suit. The worry. The “oh, great.” The “what happens now” kind of prayers in the Garden.

He sees you.

I just wanted to tell you that. For what it’s worth, He sees you full well.

He sees you and soon? This trial will be another conquered hill that once felt unclimbable. One day? It will only look like an ant hill in the hindsight is 20/20 kind of way. One day? You’ll smile at how He came through yet again.

When I am offered moments to decide to be a good “patient,” I have to remind myself being a good “patient” is really just about being patient with the process He is taking me through. To trust that if He cares for the sparrows and clothes the lilies that I am no different.

And neither are you.

This too shall pass. But until it does?

He will be faithful… as He always proves Himself to be.

Need to chat? Catch me in the virtual office M-F 12-8 EST.