Dealing with a Soul Tie? This is for you.

What is a soul tie?

Let me instead answer another question that is just as profound.

How do we undo the intertwining of the countless moments we gave ourselves away to people who would not even give us the satisfaction of knowing we were too precious to lose.

Corey Asbury came out with a really great song a few years back and while I know it is not a song about soul ties when I hear the word unraveling I can think of nothing else, no word quite as descriptive, to describe the kind of whirling dervish work that goes into spinning so many threads off of our own roots.

It’s a total deconstruction of our land. My grandfather would have likened it to blasphemy... destroying land you loved to save a damn tree from suffocating on wild roots that had no business becoming a succubus for healthy ones.

While it isn’t a pretty sight, the labor of it is. To want to find your healthy roots minus the toxicity of soul ties... is in and of itself an act of love for yourself and for God. Your body is a temple, He says. Let in only what belongs.

So while I could say that shame comes with the unraveling... it shouldn’t but I’ve been there so I know that shame is a part of what we feel. But there comes a point in your digging that you become so consumed with the task at hand that you don’t care who’s watching, that you don’t care what their saying... you cannot hear them over the sound of your digging anyway.

And. You. Just. Do. The. Work.

I would like to tell you it’s easy. I would like to tell you that you’ll do this without any kind of emotion that brings up all the times you didn’t really want to give yourself away. All the times you ask yourself why you did it anyway. All the moment you’ll realize that your people pleasing is just a last ditch effort to avoid ever being touched, walked over, hurt without permission ever again.

My friend I don’t know where the cycle started for you. But I know where it started for me. Sometimes it starts in the rooms of little girls who have no choice but to say nothing as the light flickers off as the door is locked as the person who is supposed to protect them doesn’t. Especially not from themselves.

As you dig around the tree that is all your own it is my prayer that the enemy cannot reach you. That he cannot touch you with words of so-called friends or lack there of. It is my prayer that you understand that you are not defined by soul ties. You are doing the work even if you were only thinking of doing the work… The Lord rejoices to see the work begin. I’ve sat with so many clients who have successfully done that work and live so free it makes me proud.

And God will not leave you to unravel it alone. You will no doubt come unraveled yourself a time or two to in the process and God will be right there beside you reminding you that you’re worthy, that you’re not your past, that you are worth so much more than things that must be unraveled because my dear you are worth so much more than those things. A cord of three strands is not easily broken and that is the kind of intertwining that you are worthy of. The kind that holds your head before it hits the pillow. The kind that loves you more than themselves. The kind who exemplifies Jesus to you. The kind who looks at your past and smiles because it made you who you are today.

If you are struggling to break soul ties and trauma bonds I want you to know that there’s help. I want you to know that feelings aren’t facts. And I want you to know that someone is going to come along who is going to love you so much and so godly that the addition of their roots will only strengthen yours, never suffocating them, giving them room to grow deeper, room to flourish and room to be at peace with your soul.

** If you need to talk about a soul tie, breakthrough emotions that are coming up and feeling like a lot, standing for a promise, creating boundaries, healing your trauma - I’m always here. Praying for you and leaving this $10 off coupon here for you if you need it.

CODE: Breakthrough

PS: Don’t miss our free course on soul ties and overcoming toxic relationship cycles on our site.